Join us as we dive into a live Budget Strategy Session, where the members of the Money Plan Bootcamp share their challenges and learn how to navigate budgeting, saving, and debt repayment.

Whether you're struggling with paycheck allocation or juggling unexpected expenses, this episode offers practical insights to help you take control of your finances.

Hosting Today:
Hey, I’m Ashley Patrick, a personal finance expert and founder of Budgets Made Easy. I help busy moms create systems to save money and pay off debt so they can reach their big dreams faster and easier.

I was able to pay off $45,000 in just 17 months including $25,000 in student loans in just 10 months. I’m a Master Financial Coach and have a bachelor's degree in psychology and will help you get to the root of your money problems.

Since my journey started I have been featured on Fox Business, Yahoo! Finance, Food Network, USA TODAY, MSN, CNBC, NerdWallet, and many others.

“Well, it can feel like you're stuck or not making any progress because you're still in that messy phase of trying to get caught up. But once you get there, imagine how much more progress you're going to be able to make compared to if you hadn't been doing any of this at all, right? Then you'll be able to see the reward and feel the progress.”
- Ashley Patrick

Do you need time, space, and accountability to take action on the things you KNOW you should be doing, such as budgeting so you can actually pay off debt, save money, make a meal plan, and all the other things that keep falling off your to-do list? Would you thrive in a supportive community of other busy moms who understand what you're going through and are working to achieve similar financial goals?

If that’s a YES, I invite you to sign up for the Money Success Club at www.budgetsmadeeasy.com/msc

And if you enjoyed the podcast today and got some great takeaways, I’d really appreciate it if you followed the Money Mindset Podcast so you don’t miss out on future episodes

Resources and Links Mentioned:

• If you'd like to join us in Money Success Club go to www.budgetsmadeeasy.com/msc we'd love to have you!

Connect with Ashley:

• Instagram: www.instagram.com/budgetsmadeeasy

We know that keeping tabs on every expense can quickly become overwhelming, and that's why we're here to introduce you to a game-changing concept – cash envelopes. Join us as we explore why you don't have to track cash envelopes and how they can revolutionize your budgeting approach. Learn how to harness the power of intentional spending and gain the freedom you've been longing for.

Get ready to transform your budgeting game and take control of your financial journey!

Hosting Today:

Hey, I’m Ashley Patrick, a personal finance expert and founder of Budgets Made Easy. I help busy moms create systems to save money and pay off debt so they can reach their big dreams faster and easier.

I was able to pay off $45,000 in just 17 months including $25,000 in student loans in just 10 months. I’m a Master Financial Coach and have a bachelor's degree in psychology and will help you get to the root of your money problems.

Since my journey started I have been featured on Fox Business, Yahoo! Finance, Food Network, USA TODAY, MSN, CNBC, NerdWallet, and many others.

“So I've learned with cash envelopes, I do have to be a little bit more specific on my labeling and like making sure I know what it's for so I don't spend it on something else in that category. But in general, you don't need to track it. So that gives you a bit more freedom, right? And it takes another thing off of your plate, off of your to-do list. It's one less thing that's gonna keep you stuck because you feel like you have too much to do and you're overwhelmed and you're behind. And so just have fun with it. Fill up your cash envelope with whatever you've got in your budget for that category and then just, you know, be mindful of what you're spending it on, but you don't have to track it.”
- Ashley Patrick

Timestamps:
00:00 - Introduction to the episode and the concept of cash envelopes
01:34 - Exploring cash envelopes as a hassle-free budgeting tool
03:36 - Allocating personal spending money within your budget
05:11 - Emphasizing the importance of specific labeling on cash envelopes
07:28 - Cash envelope categories and potential setbacks
09:46 - Tips for using cash envelopes effectively and avoiding common mistakes
14:18 - Starting with two to three cash envelope categories
15:26 - Celebrating wins

Do you wish you had a supportive group of women like you to connect with about money? Come join me for a Budget Bestie Meetup on The Money Mindset Podcast, and let's learn and grow as a community! You can sign up at www.budgetsmadeeasy.com/meetup.

And if you enjoyed the podcast today and got some great takeaways, I’d really appreciate it if you followed the Money Mindset Podcast so you don’t miss out on future episodes

Resources and Links Mentioned:

• Book your Budget Bestie Meetup episode here-> www.budgetsmadeeasy.com/meetup

Connect with Ashley:

• Instagram: www.instagram.com/budgetsmadeeasy

Join Ashley from Budgets Made Easy in this episode of the Money Mindset podcast as she explores the common trap of the all-or-nothing mindset.

Discover how to find balance and make progress even when things aren't perfect. Ashley shares valuable advice on building resilience and cultivating a mindset that empowers you to persevere, regardless of imperfections. Learn practical techniques to reset your mindset, shift away from the all-or-nothing mentality, and achieve your financial goals.

Hosting Today:
Hey, I’m Ashley Patrick, a personal finance expert and founder of Budgets Made Easy. I help busy moms create systems to save money and pay off debt so they can reach their big dreams faster and easier.

I was able to pay off $45,000 in just 17 months including $25,000 in student loans in just 10 months. I’m a Master Financial Coach and have a bachelor's degree in psychology and will help you get to the root of your money problems.

Since my journey started I have been featured on Fox Business, Yahoo! Finance, Food Network, USA TODAY, MSN, CNBC, NerdWallet, and many others.

“We get in this thinking that, oh, I screwed up today. I'll just start over next month. Like, oh, I made a mistake, I messed up. We expect perfection or nothing. It's either it's gotta be perfect or we're just gonna quit. There's no middle ground. And the middle ground is where success happens. It's where real life success happens. You have to have the grits and the mindset that you're gonna keep going even when it's not all perfect. So it's not gonna ever all be perfect. And so if it's all gotta be perfect or it's a big fat zero, that's not a way to get ahead with your finances, right? Like you're not gonna make any progress that way. So you've really gotta get into that mindset of that middle ground. You know, when you make a mistake, you just keep going. It's not the end of the world. It's not just start again another day because someday it's not a day on a calendar. And if you just made a mistake today, why not just start over for the day?”
- Ashley Patrick

Timestamps:
01:17 - Introduction to the all-or-nothing mindset
03:44 - Overcoming perfectionism and fear of failure
04:06 - Practical techniques to reset your mindset
16:10 - How to get the Free Budget Starter Kit
17:13 - What to expect next week

For easy step by step directions and worksheets on getting your budget together and done in 30 minutes a month, download my FREE Budget Starter Kit on www.budgetsmadeeasy.com/start

And if you enjoyed the podcast today and got some great takeaways, I’d really appreciate it if you followed the Money Mindset Podcast so you don’t miss out on future episodes

Resources and Links Mentioned:

• Budget Starter Kit: www.budgetsmadeeasy.com/start

Connect with Ashley:

• Instagram: www.instagram.com/budgetsmadeeasy

• Watch this episdoe on YouTube at https://youtube.com/live/4k1tT7sLZmo and make sure to like, comment, and subscribe!

Or maybe you aren’t sure if you should start contributing when you have debt to pay.

A lot of people will even tell you to go ahead and pay off the high interest rate first because it accrues more than the market….

Well today I’m going to discuss the actual numbers and how all that logic is flawed except for in a very very small fraction of the population.

I’m Ashley with Budgets Made Easy and you’re listing to the Money Mindset Podcast where we help support you with your debt pay off journey without all the shame and guilt so you can let go of the fear of failing and start living the life you deserve!

Before we get started, don’t forget that for the month of March 2023, we are accepting entries for the week of giveaways! All you have to do is leave a review for the money mindset podcast, take a screenshot and submit it at www.budgetsmadeeasy.com/giveaway

The calculator I used - https://www.calculator.net/debt-payoff-calculator.html

Now let’s discuss holding off retirement savings when you have debt.

When we were paying off debt, I was not comfortable with doing this at first, even though I was listening to Dave Ramsey at the time and he said it over and over.

I now longer follow Dave and generally can’t stand the man anymore, which I discuss more in detail as to why in episode 62 - Why I quit Dave Ramsey.

At the time that I was considering stopping contributions to retirement, We had already paid off 2 of our 3 debts.

The last debt was my student loan debt and our largest debt and it was accruing over $5 a day in interest! So I wanted it paid down fast.

It had been 10 years since I graduated college and I had only paid off around $3000 in that time.
So I was motivated to get it done quickly.

We had consistently put in around 3% each plus 6% into my pension + 5% from the town I worked for for over 10 years. We were in our early 30s still so we had a lot saved and we will retire as millionaires even if we didn’t contribute another penny.

When trying to decide if it was worth it or not, I did the math to see if it would be worth paying off the debt with our retirement contributions.

I did not have a choice on contributing the 6% to the state pension and the town put in 5% for me that did not cost me anything. So even with stopping extra contributions, I had 11% going into my retirement.

Now I can’t remember the exact numbers since it was in 2016 and I had no idea that I would be starting this career within a year and talking about our journey so much but I think we were putting around $4-500 a month toward our 401(k)s at this time.

I knew that after taxes, I could bring home around $300-$400 per month to apply toward our largest and highest APR debt.

But the APR was only 6.75% or right around that.

At this time, I did not know about the rule of 72. Which I will explain in great detail in just a minute.

It seemed like a good option to help us do it faster so that we could get back to saving for retirement. I did not really consider all the factors going into this decision because I just didn’t know and a guy who seemed more knowledgeable about it than me said to do it.

The problem with this thinking though is that once you start bringing home the extra, it’s hard to start sending it again and not have that coming home in your paycheck.

You get comfortable with the paycheck amounts and it’s hard to hit the button again to not have that money each month.

We ended up not turning back on contributions for longer than I wanted because I wanted to save but then things kept coming up that kept us from saving as quickly as I wanted.

So we ended up skipping contributions for a year or so.

Now, at the time, I thought it was a good idea even though I did not for the first half of our journey.

I also did not realize the true cost associated with that year until I was doing the prep for this episode.

I’ve done the math for our 401(k) loan and know how that impacted our finances in the long-term but I’ve never actually calculated the year of not contributing.

I go into detail on that long-term cost of the 401k loan in episode 120 - Our Worst Financial Mistake That Cost Us $1million dollars 😲

Now the year of not contributing is not as drastic of an impact as that 401k loan but nonetheless, the cost is a lot higher than my original calculations.

I honestly don’t think that people that give this advice have ever thought through the long-term cost. Yes in the short-term, it seems like a logical math based decision but it’s really not.

I did not even know the true cost until I started working on this episode!

Now if you are following the advice of - you have to pay off your debt and save 3-6 months of expenses BEFORE you start contributing toward retirement.

For most of you that will be at least 2-3 years. But for a lot of you, it could be 5 years, which is too long to be out of the market. Generally speaking this advice is for 2-3 years, not 5+ years. So if you already stopped your contributions, do not stop them for that long and I’m going to explain why…..

First let me explain why you should keep contributing if you already are and not shut them off to pay off debt faster.

The true cost can be calculated using the Rule of 72

the Rule of 72 is used to estimate how long it will take to double an investment at a given interest rate. Divide 72 by the interest rate to see how long it will take to double your money on an investment.

Now there is a whole formula to do this calculation….but you don’t need to know it. Just Google the rule of 72 calculator and there are several that will do the math for you.

For our math today we will use 10% avg return which doubles every 7 years - 10% is the average rate of the stock market. Of course, some years are high, some low, but the average is what matters - plus it’s the reason you shouldn’t try to time the market but that’s a discussion for another day.

For our first example, let’s say you are

35 years old - 30 years from retirement
$100 per paycheck - 26 a year = 2600
Per year =
5 doubles if retire at 65
5200
10,400
20,800
41,600
$83,200 - losing at retirement each year per $100 a payday

For us that’s $83,200 * 3 = $249,600 for the one year - guess what? My accruing interest was not even close to that amount. I really only saved around $2000 in interest by paying off my student loan a year faster.

Now for that math, I was 31, not 35 so that’s half of a doubling….which means we really lost around $375,000!!!! Because of our age at the time

I’m kind of wishing I didn’t just do that math….

This whole journey of taking money out of retirement has cost us almost a million and a half dollars when we retire….

Now for that 35yr old example if they stop contributing for…..

2 years to pay off debt - costs $166,400
3 years to pay off debt - costs $332,800

For just $100 a paycheck!!!

So if you are thinking, you “don’t have the money” to contribute toward retirement….you are wrong. $100 a check is really only around $70ish dollars in take home pay. That’s the cost of one meal at a restaurant - even less if it’s my family LOL

But I also know that most of you are older than me, so for easy math, let’s say you are…..

42 years old - 23 years from retirement

$100 per paycheck $2600 per year
$41,600 per year

2 years to pay off $83,299
3 years to $166,400

Now I’ve also done the math for an example of what you are saving in interest because the comparison is important…..

If we take that $100 per month and apply to our debt instead….because keep in mind that 401k contributions are pre-tax.

So if you stop the $200 a month contribution, you’ll bring home around $150ish

Let’s be real, you probably won’t send that whole amount to your debt.

So if you take $100 per month of that $200 and put it toward your debt, you will save $2000 in interest. For the $100 per paycheck example.

Now, remember the cost of that year was $83,200 for a year in lost money at retirement.

In case you need me to do that math for you, you’re losing $80,000 by stopping contributions for a year.

Now in using the same debt payoff calculations, that extra $100 per month still only has you debt free in over 3 years. So, that’s 3 years of not contributing which is a cost of over $322,000 at 35yrs old or $166,400 at 45 years old.

That means, mathematically, it does not make any kind of sense to stop contributions to pay off debt faster - EVEN WITH HIGH INTEREST RATES.

Now there are times where you may want to consider stopping contributions to focus on debt when you’ve already been contributing.

If you are not actively working a debt pay off plan and have not worked on changing your behavior then do NOT stop contributing.

The long-term costs will be enormous and the chances of you following through with paying off the debt and starting contributing again is very low.

Leave it alone if you are still working on impulse spending, sticking to your budget, and feel overwhelmed and aren’t making any progress on your debt pay off goals.

If you are already contributing AND have room in your budget to live and pay off debt, then you don’t need to stop.

Now If you aren’t already contributing and DON’T have any extra money to contribute, then focus on debt first.

If you are within 5 years to retirement, pay off debt first if you have to make a choice.

The goal is not retire with a bunch of debt. Because if you don’t have any savings, you won’t be able to pay your bills with social security. It will be more manageable without a bunch of debt.

Plus you won’t have much time to save and you’ll want more conservative investments so your ROI will be lower as well.

It makes sense to pay off debt first in this situation.

If you are 10 years out or more from retirement, contribute to retirement and if you have some extra, pay off debt as well.

To recap - do not stop contributions - it’s not worth the long-term costs unless you are within 5 years of retirement.

I’d love to hear if you had any aha moments listening today - so please leave a review below and don’t forget to screenshot it for the BIG giveaway happening in April!

Go submit your review at www.budgetsmadeeasy.com/giveaway

Have a great week!

In honor of our 100th episode, I invited members of the Money Success Club to share their stories, struggles, triumphs, and what they've learned along their financial journey so far.

Hope this episode helps you realize that you are not alone on this journey, that you have support and that you can learn a lot from others who are going through the same things as you.

Hosting Today:
Hey, I’m Ashley Patrick, a personal finance expert and founder of Budgets Made Easy. I help busy moms create systems to save money and pay off debt so they can reach their big dreams faster and easier.

I was able to pay off $45,000 in just 17 months including $25,000 in student loans in just 10 months. I’m a Master Financial Coach and have a bachelor's degree in psychology and will help you get to the root of your money problems.

Since my journey started I have been featured on Fox Business, Yahoo! Finance, Food Network, USA TODAY, MSN, CNBC, NerdWallet, and many others.

“Everybody feels so alone and you're not. You're not alone. There are so many other women going through the same things as you. Even if you're a single mom, even if you have a low income, even if your spouse isn't fully on board with the plan, you can still do this.”
- Ashley Patrick

Timestamps
00:00 - How to join the Money Success Club
00:26 - Introduction for today's episode
02:46 - What's happening this week
06:03 - Breanna's story
12:14 - Take away from Breanna's story
18:28 - Terri's story
29:18 - Take away from Terri's story
38:44 - Trinnette's story
47:53 - Take away from Trinnette's story
50:55 - Ashley's story
58:00 - Take away from Ashley's story

Do you need time, space and accountability to take action on the things you KNOW you should be doing? Budgeting so you can actually pay off debt, save money, make a meal plan and all the things that keep pushing their way down your to-do list. Would you thrive in a supportive community of other busy moms who get it and are also working to achieve similar financial goals?

If that’s a YES, come join these lovely ladies inside Money Success Club! This is the last opening for the year!

Check it out here: www.budgetsmadeeasy.com/msc

And if you enjoyed the podcast today and got some great takeaways, I’d really appreciate it if you followed the Money Mindset Podcast so you don’t miss out on future episodes

Resources and Links Mentioned:

• Money Success Club: www.budgetsmadeeasy.com/msc

Connect with Ashley:

• Instagram: www.instagram.com/budgetsmadeeasy

Follow Jessi at http://jessifearon.com
or on social media @jessifearon

Resources mentioned in this episode:
Debt Snowball Bundle: https://www.budgetsmadeeasy.com/debt-bundle/
Crucial Conversations
The Millionaire Next Door
The Monk and the Merchant

Full Transcript:

So why don't you just go ahead and tell us a little bit about yourself and kind of how you started on this journey. Okay. Well, I am a wife of 10 years and we have three children and we live off of adjustment, husband's income. Um, and we have been for the last almost eight years now. And I'm, I am a certified financial coach. I became a certified financial coach after we, um, became consumer debt free. We paid off just over $55,000 of consumer debt and two years on one income a right before the birth of our third child. And we are now as of January of this year, 100% debt free when we paid off our house. Wow. That's so exciting. I can't wait to get the hundred percent debt free. That is amazing. Especially on one income. Like that's really hard for people to fathom, even with two incomes who are doing it on one I'm sure.
Like just blows people's minds. Well, it wasn't easy, but it's so it's been so worth it absolutely worth every single sacrifice that we made. That is awesome. So can you tell us kind of what started you to um, pursue being debt free? Um, so it actually kind of started, the story is kind of starts in, uh, 2012 so in 2012, um, I gave birth to our first child. I also graduated from college and I became a stay at home mom. And we also ended 2012 pregnant. The boys have Irish twins and so we started, yeah. Oh. And in 2012 my husband had a horrible work related accident where he fell out of a two story window that obviously he is fine, but you know, he, um, he shattered his left wrist and fractured his right elbow. And the problem was that when he's left handed, and so he obviously couldn't go to work anymore, um, was for a couple of weeks, but he had to have emergency surgery on his wrist because of the potential nerve damage.
The fragments were like pinching against his nerves and there was danger of them like severing his nerves. Oh my goodness. So he would lose all ability to actually use his hand. And so we had an emergency surgery problem is, is that we didn't realize that my husband's employer didn't have workman's comp insurance. We had told the hospital it was a work related injury. So when we found out they didn't know workers' comp, we tried to get our insurance to pay for it, but they of course kicked that back because it's a work related injury. And so we had to drain all of our savings in order to get my husband this surgery cause they literally would not take him back there until we paid them the cash. And so we did that. And so when we started 2013 we were hurting pretty bad financially and we were expecting our second child.
And so I was sitting there trying to like figure out, okay, what's money going to look like? You know, when our baby comes, like what is money gonna look like? And I started to realize that we were going to be broke. Like we were going to be running a deficit every single month. There was absolutely no way we were going to be able to pay all of our bills. And all of our responsibilities, they just, it wasn't going to happen. And so it brought about, you know, really hard conversations of, you know, me going back to work, going back into the corporate world, which would not have necessarily been a big deal, but the reality is that we would be, but half of my paycheck was going to go towards just daycare for two kids under two years old. And then we live in Metro Atlanta. And so there's traffic and there's all these things.
And we just realized that we were gonna have this really rushed and chaotic life that we didn't really want for our family. That's not what we had envisioned for our family. And so we had to make these really tough decisions of how do we fix this? And so we decided right then and there that we were going to become debt free. And I'm so grateful that we did. Um, it has allowed me to continue staying home with our kids. Um, which is such a blessing and it's honestly, it's taught us how to live just on the money that my husband makes, like taught us how to live with within our means. You know, you hear that all the time, like live within your means, but sometimes I think we don't know what that means. Um, we don't know how that practically plays out, but when you truly do just live off of what your paycheck is, it's totally life changing.
Yeah, you're absolutely right. So what, um, well I'm first I'm really glad that your husband's okay and that it turned out everything turned out okay. Um, you know, and a lot of times with people now I know it's true for me since like it was true for you. It's usually like this, the catalyst for starting this journey is like something major life that, you know, and at the time you're like, how am I going to get through this? And then once you're on the other side and it leads to being debt free, you know, you're at least I was, I was thankful for that struggle because it led me here even though at the time it was, you know, I'm sure your husband is, I'm sure he wished he didn't have to have surgery. And so I'm sure that was really painful. But you know, the catalyst to get you there, you know, usually it takes something dramatic like that to kind of get you moving.
Exactly. And so that's always like, yeah, they'll push that you need. So. So can you tell us just kinda like what you did, like what changes did you make to actually become debt free? Well, the first thing that we did is that, um, so we had been married, oh my goodness, you married by like five. I don't know. We've been there for five years, but like we've been married for like four or five years. Like we weren't newlyweds anymore. And it was like the first time we were actually sitting down and really talking about money, like not arguing about money, but like talking about it. And planning our money and sitting down and looking at how much we were spending every single month. I mean that was life changing. Just pulling up all of our bank statements and categorizing everything out and realizing that we were spending an obscene amount of the money on one.
Just stuff that we couldn't even identify where we were spending money on, you know, and we were just, overspending is so many different areas and it was just mindless stuff. And it was like once we sat down and we became real with our money and we started, you know, focusing on, okay, where's our money going? It totally changed the story for us. That's awesome. That's usually the, you know, the biggest mindset shift is when you sit down and actually see where it was going. Um, you know, for us it was food and eating out. I was spending so much money on groceries we were eating out for like every meal. It was ridiculous. Actually. We had spent over $1,200. This is back when we were a family of three. Okay, $1,200 on groceries. And I'm like, what? And worth rolling so much of it away.
And then, oh that much we were spending on Papa John's. Yeah, exactly. This is the same price. We were like three with a newborn. So before, but you know, she wasn't really eating it and it was $1,200 and I was like, what are you doing? It's ridiculous. So yeah, that's funny. That's like the same amount too. So how, did you have any issues with it getting your spouse onboard with a budget then? Or do you have any tips for that? You know, I kinda thought I was going to have issues with it cause my husband is naturally a spender and I'm a saver. And so when I first tried to bring up the conversations, I didn't quite realize that I was really just yelling at him and nagging at him. Like I thought I was being helpful. Like, oh my God, you're spending so much money on red bull every single month, you know?
And instead of like actually trying to sit down and have an adult conversation, I was instead like trying to act like I was his mom. And so I had to realize that, you know, this wasn't just about me, that we in fact were a team. We committed our lives together. We're gonna figure this out. And so, you know, I had to pick a good time, not like a time right when he comes home from work, you know, and he's like, you're tired. Um, but you know, pick a good time to sit down with him. I had already run all the numbers, so I didn't like, you know, expect him to have to do that with me. I'd already run all the numbers, had everything tallied up and brought it all to the table and I showed him everything so he could see like the proof in the pudding, so to speak.
He can see those details. And once he kind of realized that, you know, he was like, you know what? You're right. He was like, here, take, he's got his credit card out of his wallet and hand it to me. He handed me his debit card. We have actually had, we have shared my debit card, the one with my name on it for years now because my husband's like I don't want it. I don't want to. Even our bank knows that my husband is actually the one that uses that debit card occasionally. Like they know that don't even send him his own debit card anymore. That's awesome. You know, cause sometimes like with my husband it was kind of the same thing. Like I did all the leg work and showed him the numbers and stuff. But you know it's still hard and you know, do you have any advice for people where their spouse isn't like on board with it where they like they don't, they may sabotage it, you know though like okay I I understand.
But then they still go and use their debit card at the gas station, you know, a couple of times a week. One of the best books that I read that was super helpful for figuring out how to communicate. Now it's not necessarily like a marriage related book. I think it's actually labeled as a business book, but it's just about like communicating and uh, in relationships in general, it's called crucial conversations. Borrow that from the library. It is so good. One of the things they talk about in that book is how we have to realize that we sometimes tell ourselves a story about the situation. And so in our mind we're going into these conversations, but we're speaking through the lens of the story we have already told ourselves. And that story may not be true. And so for me, I had to always kind of recognize, like if I'm telling myself the story, I need to bring the story out in the open and say, okay, this is what, you know, this is how I'm seeing this, you know, x, y, Z, you know, whatever.
Is this how you're seeing it? And that kind of has that really has changed the way that we communicate because it puts us on the same page. We're not just assuming we're on the same page anymore. We actually know that we're on the same page, if that makes sense. Wow. Yeah. That's, I'm going to have to go find that book. I haven't heard of that. So that, that would be really good for me because I'm a visual person. And so that sounds like that would kind of help me. Yeah, it's really, really good. Like I said, they talk about, you know, just all sorts of relationships, whether it's your coworker, whatever. It's just, it's really, really good. That's great. Yeah. Cause I mean, a lot of our perception and what we expect from people or is, or, you know, IX think that people will do is based on our expectations, but they're not always the same.
Like they may think that you want this and you want something else. So it's really, that is very important to be on the same page about what you expect, so. Exactly. Exactly. Um, so did you, during this journey, like I know for me, I would get comments, um, you know, it must be nice or you're so lucky I can never do things like that. So did you ever get any day or maybe you still do? Um, I think I saw your post this morning on Facebook. Uh, tell us about maybe some negative comments about being debt free or during your journey and, um, like how, how do you deal with the negative comments when you are, you know, working on a financial goal and maybe your friends or your family don't understand that this maybe saying no to certain things to get to your bigger goal?
Like how do you deal with that? Well, at first it was really hard. Um, we had one particular family member, obviously I won't say who it is, but one particular family member who, um, like ripped me apart personally for saying that because they found out that we weren't using credit cards anymore. They told me that we were gonna destroy our family, that we were gonna fail. Like, don't, you know, you need a credit card for emergencies and all of these things. And then a few months later, um, some extended family members that come into town and everybody was wanting to meet at this restaurant. But Pat and I couldn't afford it at the time because we were so on our debt free journey and we just didn't have the room in our budget. And this family member was like, well, I will pay for you. I will pay for you.
And we were like, no, you're not understanding. We're, we're telling you no, because we don't have the money to do it. We appreciate you wanting to pay for us, but you're going to need to respect our, no. And it was really hard, but we had to actually keep saying over and over again, you're going to have to respect what we're saying. So if we tell you no, you need to respect it. And it was, and it was really challenging for a very long time, especially with that particular family member. Um, but it just comes down to really holding your grounds. You have to hold your ground. You don't have to fight about MCL about it because it's your family, you know, this is your family and you have to make those decisions for your family. And so you have to just kind of stand your ground and, and be firm in what you say.
Yeah, that's hard with, I mean, and it's important, like you said, to set up, um, boundaries and so that people know what to expect, that you, you know, you're not making up excuses or anything, you know, be honest with them that, no, I can't afford it, I'm not going to go. Um, instead of being, you know, like even wishy washy, that even for me, that would be hard, especially if they offer to pay for it. You say no, it's like, you know, cause you don't want to borrow money or feel like, exactly. Well, and that was the thing. So it was, let's just say that this particular family members, the type of that that wouldn't in there. That makes sense. You know what I mean? And so we knew that we couldn't accept that offer as generous as it was, because it wasn't actually being given in a generous way.
It was given in a way like, we want you at this restaurant and you're gonna be there type of way instead of more like, well, hey, you know, I don't mind, you know, paying for you guys. It's not a big deal. If you still want to go, let me know, I'll pay for you. It was instead of like, no, I'm paying for you, you know. Okay. I got you. Yes. So it was very smart for you guys to set up those boundaries ahead of time. I'm sure. Well, I hope that it's gotten easier for them over time. It has. It has, thankfully. Thankfully now they realize like that, no, you don't have to have a credit card. No, you don't have to, you know, live life that way. Like it's okay to put off going out to eat for a little while so you can save money and pay off debt.
It's okay to do those things right. And you know, and I like to tell people to budget in the fund because I mean, if you're just always saying no and never doing anything, it's hard to stick with the plan and keep going when, if you know, you're miserable all the time and can't have any fun. So, um, you know, how do you guys still budget in for date night and going out to eat and stuff? Well, I'll tell you that my husband and I work, we're kind of weird. We have realized that we're not the biggest like date night people. Yeah.
That often. Like we've tried a couple of different times. Like I mean we stole like every once in awhile we and him will like have a date night and go out to eat or whatever. But like word, not like regular go out to eat people anymore. And I think it's because like I really challenged myself when we were on this debt free journey to get really good in the kitchen. And my husband even says, he's like, honestly I don't want to eat other people's food. I like my wife's a good smart man. Totally. Exactly. And so it is funny because sometimes like we've been to like, we went to this one restaurant, there's this new restaurant in town, it's our last date night and mean it was kind of expensive, but that was fine. It was budgeted, but the food was honestly terrible. Like, yeah. And I would have rather have just made a pizza at home like, right.
You like that. So I'd like you save up and you have all these high expectations cause it's like you don't do it very often. And then for the food [inaudible] like that's just, yeah. And so we've kind of like, we've transitioned, like when we do have our dates to it being less like going out to eat and we're just going and doing something, whether we're just going hiking or something, like just something for us to go do together. Oh, that's a good idea. Um, so d what kind of kept you going while you were paying off debt? Cause I mean, I'm sure it wasn't always easy and you know, hard to say no to some things. So kind of what kind of helped keep you motivated? Honestly, it was, it was my kids. Like knowing that I, I didn't want to like [inaudible], you know, I didn't want to put them into daycare because one, we really weren't gonna be able to afford it.
But two, it was like, I enjoyed it, getting to be here with them. I enjoy the fact that if the school nurse calls because my kid is sick, I can drop what I'm doing and go get them. Like I love that. And I realized that that is something that my family truly needs. Like they need that, that family member that is here and um, is ready for them whenever they need them. And for me, that's what kept me going is that I wanted to, to be here cause I do really believe that, you know, the mom sets the tone of the household. And I know for me and my personality that if I did go back out into the workforce and I had that lifestyle, like I would be crazy all the time because I don't like being rushed and I don't like being frantic and I don't like running late and I don't like those things that I'm like, it would just never work for me.
Yeah. Same here. Like I have been home now two years and I just like the thought of going to work and like being rushed. I'll, I mean, I was stressed out, you know, my kids were sick all the time. So then I was having to miss work for that and it was just stressful. So I really like being able to work at home and you know, be there for certain things. But you know, honestly I also enjoy having alone time and working, like being at home, like where I have more control over my schedule and, and you know, just what my kids need at the time type of thing instead of being like confined to an office. Yes. So what is your number one advice or tip for people that want to be dead? My number one piece of advice is to make sure that you want to become debt free.
That you don't compare your debt free journey to someone else's. Don't assume that you know that just because this one person has paid off this mass amount of debt and they make less money than you and they did it and say you know a year that you're going to achieve that same fee in a year because then you're going to disappoint yourself if you don't meet that goal in a year. Set realistic expectations for you and for your family and for your own debt. Pay off plan. Don't allow yourself to become overwhelmed or fall into that comparison trap. Yes, that is, that is really good. That's very good advice because especially with social media and stuff, it's like, I mean even just anything in general, uh, you know, life, vacations, kids, everything. It's like you're constantly comparing yourself to what you see but you may not see the sacrifices that they make.
Cause you know, people want to post happy stuff. Not like I will, I'm sitting at home saving some money, you know, today. Exactly. They don't want to post the messy stuff. They don't want post the fact that it's, you know, Friday night and their husband's working lay and the kids are being crazy. You know, they don't want to post about that, but they, you know, they're not going to go out to eat or anything. They don't, we're going to order the pizza, they're going to help it out and find something to make in the, in the Pantry, whether it's PB andJ or cereal. Right. Like they don't want to post about that stuff. Exactly. So it's just so important not to compare yourself. Um, so just, let's see, a couple more questions. Uh, what are your current financial goals? Our current financial goals are to Max out our, um, our Roth IRA contributions.
So we are working very hard to try to achieve that. It's funny, it's easier to pay off the debt than it is to save money. I don't know. I know it is so true. I don't know why, but that is true. Like we've had, you know, it's been a struggle for us going from two incomes down to one the last two years. And so like it seems like saving or especially the Roth is always like, even though I budget it first, you know, it never, it never seems to happen like, or it's sporadic, you know, and it's something is always coming up. But it's been, it's actually been a pretty big challenge mentally for us to go from two incomes to one. Even though we're debt free, it's been really tight. Like I wouldn't have even been able to stay at home if a, if we still had debt.
So, um, you know, just, just mentally and just something just is constantly coming up that we didn't think about or something like that. Like did you have any tips from going from two incomes to one or you know, surviving and staying sane on one income? You know, it, yeah, it can be so much of a challenge. It really can be. And I mean, I think it's amazing that you guys have done that, um, after becoming debt free, you know, because it is such a lifestyle change and that for us, like we, when we got pregnant with our oldest, we knew that we wanted me to stay home. And so the best thing that we did while I was still working is we changed my paycheck from being a direct deposit into our checking account into our savings account. That allowed us that kind of time to figure out how to live on just my husband's income.
Cause yeah, it was very rocky for a few months. Like we were just constantly to go back into savings to pull money from my Bates things. Um, you know, so definitely if you are planning to make that leap from one income to, to save as much money as you can. Um, just so you have sort of that buffer because it's going to be a bit of a challenge, but don't allow the buffer to be an excuse to not budget and planning your money accordingly according to the one income that you're now trying to live off of. Absolutely. Okay. One last question. I always like to ask people about their favorite nonfiction book because you know, studies show that millionaires read like at least one book a month or something to that effect. So I always like to ask people about what their favorite book and why. Oh my goodness.
I have so, so many. Um, but I would say my favorite book would be the millionaire next door. Mm. Yeah, I have that one. I haven't actually finished it. I started it, but I had never finished it. I mean, it kind of reads like a textbook, not going to lie. Yeah. But it's, it is very insightful into what actual millionaires will look like in the United States. Um, and it's just, it's fantastic. It's like just fascinating to read it. It really is. And it really motivated us to really get this whole retirement game started. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I've really enjoyed it just because it, it does give you a realistic view because I talk to people all the time and they, they really believe that millionaires inherited money or had like their parents help or whatever. But that's not true or accurate at all. Like most millionaires are self-made.
But I think there is also kind of a disconnect of what people think is, or who they think is a million. They think people that drive Lamborghinis are all millionaires and that's not really the case. Or that they make $1 million a year, which is, you know, a millionaire or somebody that is a, has a net worth of $1 million and they only be making like 50,000 a year. So I think that's kind of where the disconnect is too. So we see, you know, the Kardashians on TV and stuff and that's what a millionaire does, but that's not really accurate. So you're right, that book does give you a more accurate representation of what a millionaire is and that, you know, and Kinda like their spending habits and things like that. So that is a very good book. Um, but I've just get in the habit of like starting a book and then I never, I don't finish it.
Uh, not always actually did finish when it was a quick read. It was um, uh, the mock, the monk and the merchants. Oh, I love that book. Oh my gosh. That is such a good book. That is a good book too. Yes, yes. And it's a really quick read. Like it didn't take long at all, so I read that in one night. It was so good. Yeah, it was really good. So that I did finish that one over the weekend. So, um, alright. D uh, any last tips or advice for people? I mean, you know, don't be afraid of the sacrifice that's involved with becoming debt free. Um, I know a lot of times that we can be met with a huge sacrifice that we're going to have to temporarily give up in order to become debt free or to save money. Um, just keep in mind that it's, it's temporary. Life is so much longer than just a day. You know, don't, don't stress about the one sacrifice that you have to give up for just a short period of time to gain what you truly, truly want. Oh, that's awesome. Um, where can people find you? They can find me on social media @jessefearon and they can find me online at jessifearon.com that's great. I'm so happy that you are here with me today and I appreciate you coming on to speak with us. Well, thank you so much, Ashley, for having me. I really appreciate it. Thanks.

Special Guest: Jessi Fearon.